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i want an opinion from some of you guys on my prologue.
as some of you may know, i am starting a book series, and i have, in the past, had some pretty good pieces of litteriture... so i want your honest opinion on this prologue...
"At the start of time there was only God. After many years of solitude, God decided to create his own company. That is when the races were created. Seven Dominating races were created. First came the Humans, followed by the Elves, Vampires, Demons, Sprites, Dwarves, and finally Angels.
For the first hundred years everything was perfect. But, eventually the races grew apart. War broke out among them. Many casualties were taken, and God grew furious. God loved all his creations, so instead of destroying them, he decided to split them up. Within this earth, he created seven different realms. There was one realm for each race. The problem was, God could only watch over one realm at a time. So to fix this, God then created 6 beings that were equal to him in every way. He based their figure off of each of the different races. These beings were named Sovereigns, as they were created to govern a realm of earth.
As the humans were created first, and looked the most like God, he decided that for the most part he would govern over the Human realm.
About this time, God decided to govern over the humans from their own realm. He gave himself a mortal form and came to the earth as an infant. But, not many humans saw this as a blessing and he was executed.
God was disappointed in the actions of the humans, and left them for a long time to reflect upon himself and create a sanctuary for those humans who live for him, as he intended. This place was named ‘Heaven’.
God spent 200 years working on Heaven. During this time, the human race was left to govern itself. The era was known as ‘The Dark Ages’. But, before God came back, humans learned how to successfully govern themselves. God felt it best to keep his say in things to a minimum for the time being, at least until he felt better about his governing skills.
Since then, the humans have forgotten about that time. The other races are just legends in the eyes of most humans now. And many have forgotten the being that created us. But, there is one civilization in the realm of the humans that has kept this knowledge for all these years.
The Country of Atlantis has kept Gods secrets for almost 1000 years.
Unknown to the people of Atlantis, an evil emperor knows that they are keeping secrets from the world. The empire is raising to take out Atlantis and gain the knowledge that has been kept from the majority of man-kind for almost 1000 years."
anything that could be added? anything thats too much? opinions!!!!
thx
as some of you may know, i am starting a book series, and i have, in the past, had some pretty good pieces of litteriture... so i want your honest opinion on this prologue...
"At the start of time there was only God. After many years of solitude, God decided to create his own company. That is when the races were created. Seven Dominating races were created. First came the Humans, followed by the Elves, Vampires, Demons, Sprites, Dwarves, and finally Angels.
For the first hundred years everything was perfect. But, eventually the races grew apart. War broke out among them. Many casualties were taken, and God grew furious. God loved all his creations, so instead of destroying them, he decided to split them up. Within this earth, he created seven different realms. There was one realm for each race. The problem was, God could only watch over one realm at a time. So to fix this, God then created 6 beings that were equal to him in every way. He based their figure off of each of the different races. These beings were named Sovereigns, as they were created to govern a realm of earth.
As the humans were created first, and looked the most like God, he decided that for the most part he would govern over the Human realm.
About this time, God decided to govern over the humans from their own realm. He gave himself a mortal form and came to the earth as an infant. But, not many humans saw this as a blessing and he was executed.
God was disappointed in the actions of the humans, and left them for a long time to reflect upon himself and create a sanctuary for those humans who live for him, as he intended. This place was named ‘Heaven’.
God spent 200 years working on Heaven. During this time, the human race was left to govern itself. The era was known as ‘The Dark Ages’. But, before God came back, humans learned how to successfully govern themselves. God felt it best to keep his say in things to a minimum for the time being, at least until he felt better about his governing skills.
Since then, the humans have forgotten about that time. The other races are just legends in the eyes of most humans now. And many have forgotten the being that created us. But, there is one civilization in the realm of the humans that has kept this knowledge for all these years.
The Country of Atlantis has kept Gods secrets for almost 1000 years.
Unknown to the people of Atlantis, an evil emperor knows that they are keeping secrets from the world. The empire is raising to take out Atlantis and gain the knowledge that has been kept from the majority of man-kind for almost 1000 years."
anything that could be added? anything thats too much? opinions!!!!
thx
